Fear...?
There are certain instances in my life where I feel as if I do not know what direction my life should be taking. It feels as if hundreds upon hundreds of tasks are either placed upon my shoulders or I have voluntarily placed onto my list of responsibilities.
Yesterday was the first time that I had ever denied a task from a member of my family. My father wanted to give me a task last night that I simply could not have done. The task itself was rather simple but even so, I could not do it. I was at the point of saturation, the point where I simply could handle no more tasks. It's just sad that the person who I had to deny would be my father. I really wish to help him, I really want to be that "good eldest son of the family," but I simply could not realistically do it without sacrificing the big project for International Business that I was typing up. It was a sad reality to be facing, but my father understood; I'm so glad he did.
So which is the right way to go? There are so many options for me! Which is the right way? If I choose to go down one path, will the other path be closed to me forever? Should I study to become a lawyer and allow the prospects for a degree in International Business go down the drain? Do I have the capacity to do both? What about working during law school? Should I try to acquire a part time position at the general accounting department at the university while going for a three year jurist doctorate degree?
Perhaps I should just accept the fact that there are certain things that answer to no logic. There are simply actions that one takes which have no logical explanations, right? It's like the question of why one likes one color over the other or one ice cream flavor over the other. Is blue superior to red and Vanilla superior to Chocolate?
Sometimes, there simply are no answers, and that's one of the things I fear most. Or as one of my good friends just said, "life is random," to which I added: " and random is scary!"
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Totally unrelated to the above topic: My mentees are wonderful people and I miss them.
Yesterday was the first time that I had ever denied a task from a member of my family. My father wanted to give me a task last night that I simply could not have done. The task itself was rather simple but even so, I could not do it. I was at the point of saturation, the point where I simply could handle no more tasks. It's just sad that the person who I had to deny would be my father. I really wish to help him, I really want to be that "good eldest son of the family," but I simply could not realistically do it without sacrificing the big project for International Business that I was typing up. It was a sad reality to be facing, but my father understood; I'm so glad he did.
So which is the right way to go? There are so many options for me! Which is the right way? If I choose to go down one path, will the other path be closed to me forever? Should I study to become a lawyer and allow the prospects for a degree in International Business go down the drain? Do I have the capacity to do both? What about working during law school? Should I try to acquire a part time position at the general accounting department at the university while going for a three year jurist doctorate degree?
Perhaps I should just accept the fact that there are certain things that answer to no logic. There are simply actions that one takes which have no logical explanations, right? It's like the question of why one likes one color over the other or one ice cream flavor over the other. Is blue superior to red and Vanilla superior to Chocolate?
Sometimes, there simply are no answers, and that's one of the things I fear most. Or as one of my good friends just said, "life is random," to which I added: " and random is scary!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Totally unrelated to the above topic: My mentees are wonderful people and I miss them.
posted by Marcus at 10:59 PM
1 Comments:
In a way, the door being closed while doing the other is realistically true.
When we run out of opportunities, or so if we think, :) one of the doors that have been closed will open. May be. This was what I was told when I was a child.
Yup. Random is scary. And, that is defintely fun. I like the way you write. Attractive style.
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